ONE MORE TIME by Larry Ollison, PhD

One More Time
By Larry Ollison, Ph.D.

Recently, I was talking with a man about forgiveness. He said that he had forgiven everyone in his life except one person. When I asked him who it was, he related a story about a family incident involving his brother that had taken place years ago.

When I asked why he couldn't forgive his brother, I got a strange answer. He said it was impossible for him to forgive his brother because his brother wouldn't forgive him.

Jesus said in Mark 11 that we were to forgive those who have wronged us. He didn't say that we were to forgive them if they forgive us. He said we were to forgive - if they love us or if they hate us, if they forgive us or don't forgive us. Even if they are holding a grudge and are doing everything in their power to destroy us, it doesn't matter. Whether or not they forgive us is irrelevant. Our responsibility is to forgive, unconditionally.

One woman told me she couldn't forgive a certain person because she had forgiven that person several times for the same offense. And even after all that forgiveness the other person continued to be offensive. She asked me how many times she should forgive this person. I told her "One more time." Any time you wonder how many times to forgive someone, that is the answer. Forgive them "one more time."

In Matthew 18:21 Peter went to Jesus and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered and said, "I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." In today's words, that would be like saying "up to a million times." Forgiveness has no limits. Forgiveness has no end.

The reason for forgiveness is not for the one being forgiven, but for the one who forgives. The one who forgives reaps all the benefits. What are the benefits of forgiveness? There are many, but one that we all need is peace. Forgiveness will give you peace.

Over the years I have met many people who will not forgive. They all have one thing in common. They are never at peace. When we are obedient to the Word of God, we will be at peace. The peace of God is beyond anything the world can give. Philippians 4:7 says, "and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

If we are not obedient to the Word of God and refuse to forgive, the only peace we will have is what we can glean from the world, and that's a poor substitute for the real thing.

Forgiveness will allow you to forget the pain of the past. In Jeremiah 31:34, the Bible says that God not only has the ability to forgive but also has the ability to forget. We, however; cannot forget the past, but through forgiveness we will forget the pain of the past. That's true peace - when you can remember, but there is no hurt or resentment. Try as you might, without forgiveness, it can't be done.

Daniel 9:9 says mercy and forgiveness belong to the Lord. God is a God of mercy and forgiveness. As Christians we are to mirror the character of God. We are to show mercy and we are to forgive.

So, when you become offended because someone has wronged you and wonder if you should forgive again, do this. Forgive, one more time.

Larry Ollison Ministries
All rights reserved. Used by permission.

THE WOODCUTTER'S WISDOM by Max Lucado

Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before—such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.
People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. “This horse is not a horse to me,” he would tell them. “It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend?” The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.
One morning he found that the horse was not in the stable. All the village came to see him. “You old fool,” they scoffed, “we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever hope to protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been too high. Now the horse is gone, and you’ve been cursed with misfortune.”
The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?”
The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”
The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”
The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was a fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, an old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.
After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. “Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”
The man responded, “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of a phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?
“Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is a fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.”
“Maybe the old man is right,” they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned with one horse. With a little bit of work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.
The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.
“You were right,” they said. “You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever.”
The old man spoke again. “You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”
It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again.
“You were right, old man,” they wept. “God knows you were right. This proves it. Your son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever.”
The old man spoke again. “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this: Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”
The old man was right. We only have a fragment. Life’s mishaps and horrors are only a page out of a grand book. We must be slow about drawing conclusions. We must reserve judgment on life’s storms until we know the whole story.
I don’t know where the woodcutter learned his patience. Perhaps from another woodcutter in Galilee. For it was the Carpenter who said it best:
“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.” (Matthew 6:34)
He should know. He is the Author of our story. And he has already written the final chapter.

THE UNKNOWN GOD

THE UNKNOWN GOD by Daniel Yohanna

There are many things in life that are beyond our comprehension as mortals. These things remain mysteries to us, birthing many questions ranging from the origin of life to the destiny of mankind.

Many philosophers have attempted to provide answers to the age-long question of the origin of life, but they always end up with more questions than answers. 

Georges Lemaitre tried to explain the expansion of the universe through the Big Bang theory in what he called his "hypothesis of the primeval atom." Over time, scientists built on his initial ideas to form the modern synthesis. 

Charles Darwin, in his theory of evolution, postulated that populations evolve over the course of generations through a process of natural selection. He tried to present a body of evidence that the diversity of life arose by common descent through a branching pattern of evolution.

These people fail to tell us how the primitive form of life came to be before the explosion, neither have we ever witnessed any species attempting to transmute to another.

While it is a fact that there are some resemblance between mammals and human beings, it only points to the fact that you can notice the 'hand' of the same 'designer' in both species.

How then can we know how everything began? We have to believe the account of the Bible. It is the most consistent document that we have that tells us about the origin of life, the purpose of creation and even the destiny of mankind. 

"In the  beginning  God created the heavens and the earth." (Gen. 1:1)

God did not begin when the beginning began; He began the beginning. Just like our five senses can not perceive radio frequencies, our minds are too finite to really grasp the greatness of this God.

"Canst thou by searching find out God? Canst thou find out the Almighty unto perfection?" (Job 11:7)

Creation is not the product of a cosmological accident. God created everything. But who is this God? We have to accept the testimony of the Bible on who God is.

We have to depend on the Bible as His Word, to understand God. It is possible to do away with conjectures and guesses about who God is, as He is largely unknown to many. That's why you have many impostors today who claim to represent God, but who don't even know Him. 

There is more than enough evidence to prove that the Bible is the Word of God, and it is the truth. Time and space will not permit me to do that right now. But see this.

"Then Paul stood in the midst of the  Ar-e-opa-gus and said, “Men of Athens, I perceive that in all things you are very religious; “for as I was passing through and considering the objects of your worship, I even found an altar with this inscription:  TO THE UNKNOWN GOD. Therefore, the One whom you worship without knowing, Him I proclaim to you: “God, who made the world and everything in it, since He is  Lord of heaven and earth,  does not dwell in temples made with hands. “Nor is He worshiped with men’s hands, as though He needed anything, since He  gives to all life, breath, and all things. “And He has made from one  blood  every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth, and has determined their preappointed times and  the boundaries of their dwellings, “so that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope for Him and find Him,  though He is not far from each one of us; “for  in Him we live and move and have our being,  as also some of your own poets have said, ‘For we are also His offspring.’ “Therefore, since we are the offspring of God,  we ought not to think that the Divine Nature is like gold or silver or stone, something shaped by art and man’s devising. “Truly,  these times of ignorance God overlooked, but  now commands all men everywhere to repent, “because He has appointed a day on which  He will judge the world in righteousness by the Man whom He has ordained. He has given assurance of this to all by  raising Him from the dead.” (Acts 17:22-31)

Jesus spoke with a woman by a well in Samaria when He told her that they worshipped what they didn't know.

“You worship  what you do not know; we know what we worship, for  salvation is of the Jews. “But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will  worship the Father in  spirit  and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. “God  is  Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.” (John 4:22-24)

God wants you to know Him. He wants you to get acquainted with Him (Job 22:21). He doesn't want you to be like Eli's children who knew not the Lord (1Sam. 2:21). We need to teach our children the knowledge of God so He would not be unknown to them after we depart this world like it was in the time of the Judges (Judg. 2:10). God wants to be known. 

Thus says the  Lord : “Let not the wise  man  glory in his wisdom, Let not the mighty  man  glory in his  might, Nor let the rich  man  glory in his riches;  But  let him who glories glory in this, That he understands and knows Me, That I  am  the  Lord , exercising lovingkindness,  judgment, and righteousness in the earth.  For in these I delight,” says the  Lord. (Jer. 9:23, 24)

The Bible says the day is coming when the New Covenant is in effect, that He will reveal Himself to everyone (Heb. 8:10-12).

How then can one come to the accurate knowledge of God?

1) His Word, the Bible, reveals Him

“You search the Scriptures, for in them you think you have eternal life; and  these are they which testify of Me. (John 5:39)

2) His creation reveals Him

"For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and  unrighteousness of men, who  suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because  what may be known of God is  manifest  in them, for  God has shown  it  to them. For since the creation of the world  His invisible  attributes  are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made,  even  His eternal power and  Godhead, so that they are without excuse, because, although they knew God, they did not glorify  Him  as God, nor were thankful, but  became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools." (Rom. 1:18-22)

3) The witness of your heart. Somehow, it has to take a conscious and deliberate effort to deny the existence of God. There's something within the heart of every human that testifies to the fact that there is a God somewhere.

4) Revelation of His Spirit. God is a spirit. It takes a spirit that is enlightened to walk with Him (Gen. 5:24; Amos 3:3), talk and commune with Him (John 4:23,24) and work with Him (2Cor. 6:1). There are two kinds of knowledge: sense knowledge ( from the five senses) and revelation knowledge (from the Spirit of God). The latter is only accessible to those who are born again (born of the Spirit of God). 

It is possible to know and be intimate with God.

It begins by you acknowledging that you need Him, and that you are separated from Him because of sin. You need the cleansing of your sin, and need a new life. God has made the provision through the death and resurrection of Jesus where His blood was shed for the remission of sins. 

Start by praying this (audibly):

"Heavenly Father, I come to You in the name of Jesus. Wash my sins away. Make me a new person.  I believe Jesus died for me, and rose again to justify me. I give my life to Jesus now. Come into my heart, Jesus. You are now my Lord. Jesus is my Lord. Thank You Father, for saving me."

If you prayed this prayer sincerely, the Spirit of God will come into you, making you a new born child of God. You are now born again. 

"But  as many as received Him, to them He gave the  right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name." (John 1:12)

You can talk to God daily in prayer, and read His Word (the Bible) daily to grow. Find a church to be a part of. 

A NEW YOU IN A NEW YEAR!

It’s a new year. Thank God you made it. The year is going already, before you realize, it has come to an end. But it will not go just like that. I believe it will be your most remarkable, most exciting and your most fulfilling, in Jesus name.

The Lord spoke to us in RAPHA INT'L MINISTRIES that this is a season to OCCUPY (Luke 19:13). To occupy is to busy oneself with, that is, to trade, or do business. It calls on us to get busy about the Father’s business, to employ all resources within our hearts and the ones in our hands for the glory of God. It is a call for us to take our place in His Kingdom, bringing the influence of the Kingdom to bear within our sphere of influence.

God never changes, yet He changes the times and the seasons (Dan. 2:21). He works with us based on times and seasons (Eccl. 3:1; Psa. 102:13).

I want you to note however, that just because it is a new year doesn't necessarily mean anything is going to change in your life. The calendar or clock doesn't have the power to change anything. If you were sick on 31^st Dec, you didn't get well because it was Jan. 1.

So, lest you get caught in the euphoria of celebrating the entry of a new year and forget how to get the benefit of this present season, I have written this article to you.

Zig Ziglar said, “One definition of insanity is to believe you can keep on doing the same thing while expecting different results.” So for some of us, there is a need to re-evaluate our lives so as to re-focus, re-strategize and re-direct our hearts for maximum effects.

Jesus said you cannot pour new wine into old wineskins, lest you burst the wineskin and lose the wine. The wineskin must become new (Luke 5:37-38). You must become a new wineskin to receive & retain the new thing God is doing this year.

Rom. 12:2 says, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

“Transformed” comes from the Greek word, Metamorphoo, meaning, change in form, a word from where we get ‘metamorphosis.’ This verse shows us that we can be transformed (changed) not because it is a new year, but because your mind is renewed, signifying a new you. You are not holding on to your old ways of unbelief, unforgiveness, bitterness, sinful lifestyle, etc. it is a new you in a new year. Things must change – your level of commitment, dedication, sacrifice, your attitude to God, your involvement in the service of God, must all reflect a positive change. Unless something changes in you, nothing changes around you. Things won’t change simply because you’ve entered a new year, or that you tag the year “your year of … whatever!”

To make the best of this year, I admonish you to change your ATTITUDE towards:

1(1)      GOD: Put God first, above everything else. Those that honour God, He will honour (1Sam.2:30). Therefore honour God with your substance (Matt. 6:33; Prov. 3:9,10). Give to God the first of your harvest this year (firstfruits). Be faithful with your tithes. Be generous with your offerings. Wake up each morning and begin with worship. Take time to pray (at least an hour a day), praying more for others than for yourself. Study the Word daily – at least a chapter a day.

2(2)      CHURCH: Be consistent in Fellowship (Heb. 10:25). Be faithful in your finances this year. Support every project being done in your church. Don’t default in your tithing. (The tithe is 10% of your income – anything that comes into your hand/pocket). This will ensure a continual flow of God’s blessings in your life (Mal. 3:8-12; Lev. 27:30; Heb. 7:7-8). Get involved in the service of God. The service of God is a covenant tool for blessing (Exo. 23:25-27). Be committed to your local church. Don’t just attend, be actively involved. (Heb. 10:25; 1 Cor. 15:58). Win souls for Christ this year. Be fruitful in the Kingdom (Prov. 11:30; Dan. 12:3; Mk. 16:15)

3(3)      YOUR PASTOR: Follow, support, honour & be a blessing to your Pastor this year – 1Cor. 11:1; 1Thess. 5:12,13; 1Tim. 5:17,18; Heb. 13:7,17; Gal. 6:6-9.

4(4)      MONEY: Be faithful with the resources God commits to you this year (Lk. 16:11). Learn how to make, manage & multiply money. Be generous. Block all leakages – no waste.

5(5)      PEOPLE: Life is all about people. Relationship is the currency of life. All you ever need is here on earth, and probably in somebody’s hand. People are channels. Decide to be a blessing to the people God brings your way. Don’t despise anybody. Help as many people as you can this year.

I believe this year to be your best so far in the name of Jesus. I see a new you in a new year, set for new things in a new fashion. They will see in you what has not been seen before. They will hear about you things not heard before. 

PLANNING YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS

Failing to plan is planning to fail. Benjamin Franklin

said, "by failing to prepare you are preparing to

fail".

Planning is the arrangement of facts to achieve your

set objectives. It is the process of deciding in detail how

to do something before you actually start to do it.

For every achievable destiny, planning is required. 

"The preparations of the heart belong to man, but the

answer of the tongue is from the LORD."

A man's heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his

steps." (Prov 16:1,9, NKJV)

Two things are noted here:

1) When the heart is prepared, God brings an answer.

But planning or preparation precedes the answer.

2) When the plan is set, God grants the inspiration

and direction required in achieving the plan. Planning

precedes direction. You will receive the wisdom to

move step by step.

Many indolent people simply fold their arms waiting

for God to move. It’s like lame man at the pool of

Bethesda who sat down crippled for 38 years waiting

for somebody to push him into the water. (Jn.5:1-7).

Thank God for people that move us, but when there is

nobody around, my friend, move yourself. In fact,

don’t wait for anybody. E.W. Kenyon said, "What you do

for yourself counts far more than all that others have

done or could do for you". Sometimes you have to defy

all sorts of discouragement, and like David,

"encourage yourself in the Lord". (1Sam.30:6) 

Dr Mike Murdock said, "When your heart decides the

destination, your mind will design the map to reach

it".

Not having everything in place is not sufficient

enough to become an excuse. You don’t to have

everything in place before you launch out or even

begin to plan or prepare. Pastor Mary Yohanna says,

“Excuses are for those who are not determined.”

Eccle.11:4 (TLB) said ‘if you wait for perfect

conditions, you will never get anything done’.

A one-time British Prime Minister, Benjamin Disraeli

said, “The secret to success is for a man to be ready

for his time when it comes.”

I’ve heard of people who were trusting God for doors

to open for them, and when the doors opened, they

couldn’t enter because they were unprepared. Do you

remember the parable of the virgins, and how the five

foolish ones lost out because they were unprepared?

(Mt.25:1-13).

Whitney Young said, “It is better to be prepared and

not have an opportunity than to have one and not be

prepared.”

"The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but

victory rests with the LORD." (Prov 21:31,NIV)

It is true that the battle is not to the strong (Eccle

9:11), and that no one wins on account of the strength

of the horse (Psa.33:16,17), yet, to enjoy victory

from the Lord, it takes a prepared horse.

When you do what you can, God will do what you can’t.

God will do His part, but you’ve got to do your part.

"Any enterprise is built by wise planning, becomes

strong through common sense, and profits wonderfully

by keeping abreast of the facts". (Prov. 23:3-4, TLB)

Planning is using what you have to get what you want.

Thinking

Thinking is the principal tool for planning. Yet Henry

Ford said, “The most difficult job in the world is

thinking’”

Never confuse worrying with thinking. What is

thinking? It is the rational, analytical, intelligent

and logical reasoning. It is considering facts or

realities on ground to produce a desired result.

While worrying focuses on impossibilities, thinking

focuses on possibilities. Worrying sees ‘a brick

wall’. Thinking expects a way where there seems to be

no way.

A man once said that only 5% of the world populace

think. 15% think that they are thinking. 80% would

rather die than think. Why is thinking that much of a

problem? It is because many have not been trained to

make use of the resources that God has deposited

within them. They fold their arms and think they are

being spiritual by asserting ‘God will do it for me’.

Don’t try to use faith for something you can do.

Purpose

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the

LORD's purpose that prevails." (Prov. 19:21,NIV)

This verse admonishes us to plan based on purpose. God

calls us to accomplish different things based on His purpose

for our lives. So you need to seek out God’s purpose for your

life and then begin to plan towards achieving that purpose.

Goal-setting

Goal-setting is an act of mental projection of things

you desire to achieve. It forms the framework for what

you desire to build.

The purpose of goals is to stop you from wandering

around achieving nothing. You will not be full of

activity yet lacking productivity; moving yet making no 

progress. 

Can you imagine a football competition without goal

posts on the pitch? How then will you determine the

winner?

Someone said, ‘your goals need to be S.M.A.R.T., an

acrostic meaning Specific, Measurable, Achievable,

Realistic and Time-related.

Take some time out and prayerfully set your goals for the year

and trust God to achieve them all in Jesus name. Be

free to share some of your goals with me so I can join

my faith with yours and pray in agreement for them to

come to pass (Try to limit your goals to not more than

seven for the sake of focus, concentration and

expectation). Then do like Jephtath: “Speak (repeat) all

these words before the Lord.” (Judg. 11:11)

I see you rising to the very top this year. I see you

celebrating every day of this year. I see you walking

in victory over every onslaught of the enemy. I see

you shining gloriously. In Jesus name!

YOU WILL OCCUPY!

MARRIAGE WITHOUT TEARS III WHY PEOPLE FAIL TO MARRY Marriage is a very fascinating subject, as it is the most intimate form of relationship between a man and a woman. It was ordained by God. Not going about it God's way is the source of the many hurts and frustration experienced today, "but from the beginning it was not so." (Matt.19:8). Though there is nothing wrong with being unmarried (as Jesus or Paul never married), you can if you desire to (1Cor. 7:2). And please realize that being unmarried is not a yoke or a curse. Mary and Martha (sisters of Lazarus) were friends with Jesus. There is no record He even prayed for them to get husbands. I pray these points will be of help as you set out on this voyage.  Why do people fail to marry?  1. They know what they want They have a goal in life and it's not worth compromising simply on the altar of marriage. It doesn't mean you are a bad person or 'unmarriable.' It's simply that you adhere to principles you're not willing to trade. If you just want to marry for marrying sake, you could get married tomorrow - to just anybody. But you know there are people you could never marry, even if they were the only person left unmarried on earth. 2. They don't know what they want Sometimes people find themselves pursuing fantasies and not the real thing. You hear someone saying, "I want to marry a Doctor."  Is it a husband you're marrying or a profession? Somebody attended her friend's wedding to a Military Officer and got fascinated with the crossing of swords and all the paraphernalia of the ceremony, and there and then vowed to marry a soldier, forgetting that all ceremony was for the wedding. A colorful wedding is not a guarantee for a colorful marriage. Don't overlook the character of a person and be carried away by their charisma. You want to marry a rich man? Is it money you're  looking for or a husband? You can make money on your own. In those days, marriage was more like a "workshop" where the man works and the woman shops, but things are fast changing. You also hear of people who want a spouse who will do this or that for them. A house help could fit that role. What do you consider? Shape? It changes with age and childbearing.  Fine face? What if an accident dents the face? And then, like a sister once quipped, "Na fine face we go chop?" 3. You never attract what you don't respect. Do you feel that women are like animals? Do you say that men are insensitive and heartless? All men are the same? (In my haste I said all men are liars - Psa. 116:11). That's why experience is not the best teacher.  That someone betrayed you is no indication everybody is a traitor. Stop being sarcastic, caustic, cynical and critical of people. 4. You are neither here nor there  Some profess propriety but practice profanity. As a child of God, you expect to marry a child of God (2Cor. 6:14-17; 1Cor. 5:10,11), but your dressing and behaviour only attracts unbelievers - who you can't marry, except you choose to court disaster. I tell our sisters, when you flaunt yourself around and expose your body, the brothers see a "sister Rahab." (Remember Rahab the harlot?). They'll see a sex toy, but not a wife. Some people have unrealistic expectations. They behave like sinners but expect to marry a saint. They don't rate themselves correctly. Water will always find its level. In life, you attract what you are, not what you want. Birds of a feather flock together. A pretending brother will always end up with a pretending sister. 5. Impatience. You're so much in a hurry to marry. That’s why the older you get, the more difficult it becomes to marry, not only because there are fewer singles around your age, but because you feel you don't have all the time to really get to know the person.  You commit to a relationship too early only to discover within weeks the person is not what you thought they were. Remember, all that glitters is not gold. "Whoever believes will not act hastily." (Isa. 28:16). That's why when you're too available you cheapen yourself and you keep being overlooked because people don't like desperados. It’s impatience that makes people to look for ‘finished product.’ No one is perfect; not even you. So why are you looking for a flawless person? Instead of looking for a ready-made material, work on what you have, aiming for the image you have in your mind of your spouse. See Eph. 5:21-33. 6. Unforgiveness. If you've been hurt in a previous relationship, and you refuse to release that hurt through forgiveness, you carry it with you.  You move into another relationship still bearing those hurts and the cycle of disappointment continues. And, hurt people hurt people. Sometimes, failed relationships are an indication that you've not mastered certain aspects of relationships. It's like a failed course in school. That someone left you could be because they don't belong in your life. They've moved on. Release them and move on too. It's not the end of life. The best is yet to come. 7.  Lack of understanding of God's will as it relates to marriage - Eph. 5:17 Some marry with no regard to whether it is God's will or not. Some others never marry because they're praying for God's will. They won't make a move because they're waiting for a revelation of God's will for them. God will not force on you someone you don't want. 1Cor. 7:39b, talking about a widow, says she is at liberty to marry WHOM SHE WILL; only in the Lord. 1Thessalonians 4:3-7 3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: 4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; 5 Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: 6 That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. 7 For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. Scriptural injunctions : 2Cor.6:14-17; 1Cor.5:10,11 "And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always]." (Colossians 3:15, AMP) 8. Terrible attitude Some are so negative nobody wants to be around them. They are so gloomy and negative that anytime anyone comes around, he/she leaves with a heavy heart. The best restaurants in town don't advertise. People keep coming back because they were well treated. They enjoyed their time there. Some people have no control over their emotions, so they allow their moods to determine how they relate with people. Isn't it amazing that sometimes it's easier for widows (even with children) to marry than some singles? That's why some fail to marry in spite of their scintillating looks and quintessential beauty, because they lack inner beauty (1Pet. 3:3-6; Prov. 31:30).

 There could be other factors other than these. You can use your faith to believe God for a spouse. But don't target a particular person and try to claim such a person in prayer. No, that will be witchcraft in action. You can't use your faith over another person's will. If it is God's will that you be together, God will make a way for you two to connect - if you have someone in  mind. 

God will lead you aright in Jesus name.

Shalom!

10 Stupid Things Ministers Should Never Do

9:30AM EST 12/6/2012  J. LEE GRADY

(© Aleandr | Stock Free Images)

If you aspire to ministry, don’t be stupid. Decide now to avoid these obvious pitfalls.

I had the privilege of sharing a pulpit with Dr. Mary Ann Brown two times. She was bold, prophetic and painfully blunt. People who hate women preachers hated her even more because of her no-nonsense sermons—always delivered in her Texas twang. She would get her audience laughing and then skewer them with a hot blade of truth.

When this spiritual giant died last month at age 73, I remembered the last words she said to me when we were together at a conference in Chicago in 2011. After lamenting the fact that so many ministers in the United States were failing, Mary Ann locked eyes with me and said with stern, motherly authority: “Lee, please don’t ever get stupid.”

I knew exactly what she meant—and I’ve pondered her words often, especially since her death. I don’t want to be stupid; I want to finish well. So how can we avoid spiritual stupidity? We can start by avoiding these 10 mistakes that have become common in our movement during the past decade. If you are a minister, or if you aspire to be one, please decide now that you will never copy these behaviors.

1. Take illegal drugs. I know people who never got complete deliverance from their drug habit—and then when the pressures of ministry grew intense they turned to illegal substances to escape. That’s stupid! If you aren’t in control of your actions 100 percent of the time, you have no business in the ministry.

2. Reject accountability. The Lone Ranger may have been a great comic book hero, but isolation doesn’t work in real life. Lack of accountability is stupid! If you don’t answer to people smarter than you, you are an accident waiting to happen—and you’re going to hurt God’s people. You have no right to be in authority if you are not under authority.

3. Beat or abuse your wife. The Bible says in 1 Peter 3:7 that God will not listen to your prayers if you mistreat your wife. If you are an abuser (and even if you are a master at hiding your sin from others), the Lord will oppose you until you seek help.

4. Surround yourself with adoring fans. Years ago, fallen PTL founder Jim Bakker said his biggest mistake was planting “yes men” around him instead of people who had the guts to challenge his bad decisions. If you aren’t willing to invite input—including criticism—from your followers, you are a weak leader headed for disaster.

5. Fabricate spiritual gifts to impress others. In our movement there’s a lot of pressure to produce the sensational in order to keep people entertained. But if you stoop so low as to fake a healing, conjure up a false prophecy or push someone to the floor, the Holy Spirit will step aside and let you run the sideshow without His power. It’s stupid to mix strange fire and risk offending God!

6. Be lenient toward sexual sin. In our movement today we celebrate the grace message while frowning on anyone who dares to identify fornication, adultery, homosexuality or pornography as sins. If you are casual about sexual sin in your own life, or if you don’t require purity among those you lead, you are stupid.

7. Manipulate people during the offering time. Ministers often twist Scriptures and use hypnotic mind games to raise funds on Christian television. Nobody challenges their fraud, so it seems they get away with it. Be assured that these people will answer to God one day for their deception. You are stupid if you try these tactics in your church.

8. Refuse to share power. I meet many ministers who have been leading their churches or organizations for 30 years and yet have no succession plan in place. That is dumb! You are not going to live forever. Train the next generation now so they will be ready to lead in your place—and do it before you keel over from a heart attack!

9. Teach exotic doctrines rather than the core truths of the Bible. We charismatics tend to feed people a “flavor of the month” in order to satisfy the craving for angelic visitations, third-heaven visions, gold dust, gold teeth, manna, angel feathers, heavenly portals and indoor rain clouds. But history has proven that those who make spiritual manifestations a primary focus always get tricked into deception. We will be wise if we keep the main thing the main thing. Focus on Jesus!

10. Become an egomaniac. In the past 10 years some of America’s biggest religious stars have gone totally loony because of pride. They require private jets, body guards and personal chefs while maintaining a cold aloofness from the people they are called to serve. If you let Satan dupe you into becoming an arrogant ministry diva, you are stupid. Repent, get on the same level with the people, and start acting like Christ instead of a rock star.

In memory of my late friend Mary Ann Brown, I pass on her advice to you: “Please don’t ever get stupid.” Let’s grow up, reject foolishness and aim to finish well.

J. Lee Grady is the former editor of Charisma and the director of The Mordecai Project (themordecaiproject.org). You can follow him on Twitter at leegrady. His latest book is Fearless Daughters of the Bible.

10 More Stupid Things Ministers Should Never Do

5:00PM EST 12/13/2012  JENNIFER LECLAIRE

Lee Grady penned a no-nonsense article last week cleverly titled “10 Stupid Things Ministers Should Never Do.” The ministry of Dr. Mary Ann Brown left an impression on Lee, and in his article he recalled some of her sage advice, which was: “Lee, please don’t ever get stupid.”

I was talking to evangelist Steve Hill of Brownsville Revival on Friday evening and our conversation reminded me of Lee’s article. Steve told me he’s sadly watching pastors fall into a lukewarm theology. The next day Steve had a prophetic vision about an avalanche that could kill thousands that we shared with our readers.

There are indeed many dangers for last day ministers. Whether you are an apostle, prophet, evangelist, pastor or teacher, there are temptations and pitfalls at every turn. There are fiery darts coming your way. It can be difficult to know whom to trust. But that doesn’t mean you need to get stupid.

So, if you are a minister, or if you aspire to be one, please decide now not to do the 10 stupid things Lee mentioned. And, for good measure, please decide now not to do the 10 more stupid things I’ve outlined below that, unfortunately, have also become common in our movement during the past decade.

1. Abuse the sheep. 

Always remember that church staff—and church volunteers—are serving God, not you. Spiritual abuse is a dirty little secret in the charismatic church that is seldom exposed because it would topple small and large man-made empires alike. If you aren’t willing to be the servant of all—if you think the sheep are there to serve you—please hang up your ministry aspirations before you hurt someone. We don’t need more spiritual abusers in the pulpit.

2. Water down the gospel. 

If you aren’t going to preach the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth—so help you God!—please don’t preach. Although there are many effective preaching styles, if you aren’t bold enough to preach the whole gospel—even the parts people don’t want to hear—then pray for boldness until you are.

3. Refuse to release people into ministry. 

God’s people don’t belong to you. You aren’t the one who called them, Jesus did. You aren’t the one who anointed them, the Holy Spirit did. If you feel threatened at the notion of your worship leader moving on—or your members attending a conference at another local church—your insecurities are perverting your leadership. Equip people for the work of the ministry and then let them fulfill their calling no matter where God leads them without cursing them on their way out the door.

4. Focus on gimmicks and programs rather than people. 

Seeker-friendly churches bring in bubble machines to attract the kids and A-to-Z programs to attract the adults. When the focus is on glitz, glare, glamour and gimmicks rather than meeting the true needs of people in the community, church can quickly become more like a Christian Club Med (or even a circus) than an expression of the kingdom of God. And that’s just dumb.

5. Ignore evangelism. 

Failing to pursue evangelistic endeavors has got to be the height of pastoral stupidity. Jesus gave us a Great Commission—and that means going beyond your many-walled church and into the surrounding community with the saving grace of Christ’s gospel. And refusing to have an altar call for salvations because you insist the lay people in your church should be getting them saved before bringing them to service is just plain stupid.

6. Refuse to network with other leaders. 

You may have accountability, but if you refuse to network with other pastors and leaders in your city then you are part of the division that’s running rampant in the church. Sitting on the wrong side of the unity table lacks common sense. Jesus wants us to be one as He and the Father are one. He didn’t make exceptions for denominational differences.

7. Failure to make prayer a priority. 

It amazes me to see how little prayer is going on many churches. Pastors who don’t make prayer a mandate in their church are shooting themselves in both feet and crippling their vision. And pastors who are too important to show up to the prayer meeting to join hands with the laity are sending signals that prayer is not their priority.

8. Overemphasizing spiritual warfare teaching. 

Spiritual warfare should be taught, but not at the expense of teaching the rest of the gospel. Pastors who focus too much on spiritual warfare are making unbalanced disciples that flow in suspicion rather than discernment and may all the while miss the devil’s work in their midst.

9. Quenching the Holy Spirit. 

For all the extremes out there with false prophecies, gold dust, gold teeth and angel feathers, quenching a genuine move of the Holy Spirit is stupid. Cutting the worship at three songs in order to rush to your memorized message when the Spirit of God is obviously doing a work is dumb. Put your pride down and let the Holy Spirit take control.

10. Burning out. 

The ministry brings pressures that can lead to divorce, emotional breakdowns and sin of all manner. Failure to take head to the warning signs of burnout is stupid and it can cost you your ministry.

At the end of the day, if you take on the David mentality you won’t get stupid. David said, “One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple. For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; In the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock” (Psalm 27:4-8). Pursuing intimacy with the Lord is the smartest thing you can do. Amen.

Jennifer LeClaire is news editor at Charisma. She is also the author of several books, including Did the Spirit of God Say That? You can email Jennifer at jennifer.leclaire@charismamedia.com or visit her website here. You can also join Jennifer on Facebook or follow her on Twitter.