LITTLE FOXES (I)

 Song of Songs 2:15

Catch us the foxes,

The little foxes that spoil the vines,

For our vines have tender grapes.

We will be examining little (sometime almost unnoticeable) things that can steal from or ruin or derail our destinies.

Our vineyards here represent our lives and what God is nurturing in us that must not be allowed to be destroyed by foxes (anything that has the ability to ruin your life).

Why do we labour a lot sometimes without seeing commiserate result?

Why would you work like an elephant and eat like an ant?

Why do you pray and pray and pray and it seems God isn’t listening?

You make all the right confessions and nothing is happening.

There could be some “little foxes” lurking somewhere, eating away your fruit.

What are these little foxes?

*PEOPLE

Luke 13:31-33

On that very day some Pharisees came, saying to Him, “Get out and depart from here, for Herod wants to kill You.”

And He said to them, “Go, tell that fox, ‘Behold, I cast out demons and perform cures today and tomorrow, and the third day I shall be perfected.’ Nevertheless I must journey today, tomorrow, and the day following; for it cannot be that a prophet should perish outside of Jerusalem.

*FALSE (foolish) PROPHETS

Ezekiel 13:1-7

1 And the word of the LORD came to me, saying, 

2 “Son of man, prophesy against the prophets of Israel who prophesy, and say to those who prophesy out of their own heart, ‘Hear the word of the LORD!’ ”

3 Thus says the Lord GOD: “Woe to the foolish prophets, who follow their own spirit and have seen nothing! 

4 O Israel, your prophets are like foxes in the deserts. 

5 You have not gone up into the gaps to build a wall for the house of Israel to stand in battle on the day of the LORD. 

6 They have envisioned futility and false divination, saying, ‘Thus says the LORD!’ But the LORD has not sent them; yet they hope that the word may be confirmed. 

7 Have you not seen a futile vision, and have you not spoken false divination? You say, ‘The LORD says,’ but I have not spoken.”

#1. Sin

Jeremiah 5:23-29

But this people has a defiant and rebellious heart;

They have revolted and departed.

They do not say in their heart,

“Let us now fear the Lord our God,

Who gives rain, both the former and the latter, in its season.

He reserves for us the appointed weeks of the harvest.”

Your iniquities have turned these things away,

And your sins have withheld good from you.

‘For among My people are found wicked men;

They lie in wait as one who sets snares;

They set a trap;

They catch men.

As a cage is full of birds,

So their houses are full of deceit.

Therefore they have become great and grown rich.

They have grown fat, they are sleek;

Yes, they surpass the deeds of the wicked;

They do not plead the cause,

The cause of the fatherless;

Yet they prosper,

And the right of the needy they do not defend.

Shall I not punish them for these things?’ says the Lord.

‘Shall I not avenge Myself on such a nation as this?’

Isaiah 59:1-13

Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened,

That it cannot save;

Nor His ear heavy,

That it cannot hear.

But your iniquities have separated you from your God;

And your sins have hidden His face from you,

So that He will not hear.

For your hands are defiled with blood,

And your fingers with iniquity;

Your lips have spoken lies,

Your tongue has muttered perversity.

No one calls for justice,

Nor does any plead for truth.

They trust in empty words and speak lies;

They conceive evil and bring forth iniquity.

They hatch vipers’ eggs and weave the spider’s web;

He who eats of their eggs dies,

And from that which is crushed a viper breaks out.

Their webs will not become garments,

Nor will they cover themselves with their works;

Their works are works of iniquity,

And the act of violence is in their hands.

Their feet run to evil,

And they make haste to shed innocent blood;

Their thoughts are thoughts of iniquity;

Wasting and destruction are in their paths.

The way of peace they have not known,

And there is no justice in their ways;

They have made themselves crooked paths;

Whoever takes that way shall not know peace.

Therefore justice is far from us,

Nor does righteousness overtake us;

We look for light, but there is darkness!

For brightness, but we walk in blackness!

We grope for the wall like the blind,

And we grope as if we had no eyes;

We stumble at noonday as at twilight;

We are as dead men in desolate places.

We all growl like bears,

And moan sadly like doves;

We look for justice, but there is none;

For salvation, but it is far from us.

For our transgressions are multiplied before You,

And our sins testify against us;

For our transgressions are with us,

And as for our iniquities, we know them:

In transgressing and lying against the Lord,

And departing from our God,

Speaking oppression and revolt,

Conceiving and uttering from the heart words of falsehood.

Psalms 66:18-20

If I regard iniquity in my heart,

The Lord will not hear.

But certainly God has heard me;

He has attended to the voice of my prayer.

Blessed be God,

Who has not turned away my prayer,

Nor His mercy from me!

Before you conclude that these are Old Testament scriptures that do not apply to us, let’s go over to the New Testament.

Because of the long read (John 5:1-14), I’ll summarize the story.

A man was paralyzed for 38 years and was lying at the pool of Bethesda, waiting for the moving of the water so he could have a chance to be the first to jump in and get healed.

Jesus came by and healed the man.

John 5:8-9

Jesus said to him, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.” And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked.

And that day was the Sabbath.

See the admonition of Jesus to him afterwards.

John 5:14

Afterward Jesus found him in the temple, and said to him, “See, you have been made well. Sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you.”

It clearly shows sin can bring evil upon us.

Paul wrote to the Corinthians concerning a man who had taken his father’s wife.

1 Corinthians 5:1-5

It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named among the Gentiles—that a man has his father’s wife! And you are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he who has done this deed might be taken away from among you. For I indeed, as absent in body but present in spirit, have already judged (as though I were present) him who has so done this deed. In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.

Paul said such a man would be delivered to satan for the destruction of his flesh.

However, this man repented as we can see from his 2nd letter to them, urging them to forgive him.

2 Corinthians 2:6-8

This punishment which was inflicted by the majority is sufficient for such a man, so that, on the contrary, you ought rather to forgive and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow. Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love to him.

When a believer sins, there is provision for forgiveness through the blood of Jesus.

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

There is provision for every believer to deal with sin.

1 John 2:1-2

My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole world.

Now, the intent of this study is not to make you sin-conscious, but rather to give no room for the enemy to gain an advantage or have access into your life.

Jesus once said the devil had nothing in Him.

John 14:30

I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming, and he has nothing in Me.

We are exhorted not to give any room to the devil (Eph. 4:27)

Sin is a little fox that can eat away your blessing.

Job 31:7-12

If my step has turned from the way,

Or my heart walked after my eyes,

Or if any spot adheres to my hands,

Then let me sow, and another eat;

Yes, let my harvest be rooted out.

“If my heart has been enticed by a woman,

Or if I have lurked at my neighbor’s door,

Then let my wife grind for another,

And let others bow down over her.

For that would be wickedness;

Yes, it would be iniquity deserving of judgment.

For that would be a fire that consumes to destruction,

And would root out all my increase.

Let me reiterate the fact that this is not meant to make you conscious of your faults. No.

1 John 3:20-21

For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God.

As long as your heart does not condemn you or convict you of sin, just live with confidence and approach the Lord will all boldness.

1 John 1:7

But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.

Romans 8:1

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

Romans 8:12-13

Therefore, brethren, we are debtors—not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

As long as you walk in the light you have, and maintain fellowship with the brethren, the blood of Jesus will continuously cleanse you from all sin (1John 1:7)

And when your heart convicts you of a wrong, confess it immediately to God (1John 1:9)

Proverbs 28:13

He who covers his sins will not prosper,

But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.

Unconfessed sin and continual indulgence in sin will attract the judgement of God - here on earth - and not when we get to heaven.

1 Timothy 5:24

Some men’s sins are clearly evident, preceding them to judgment, but those of some men follow later.

If you are born again, you don’t need anyone to start reeling out condemnation on you. 

Your own heart will condemn you when you are wrong. 

Conscience is the voice of your spirit. 

It convicts you so you can judge yourself and repent, and there would be no further judgement.

1 Corinthians 11:28-32

But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body. For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep. For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. But when we are judged, we are chastened by the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world.

Your conscience will judge your actions, accusing you or else excusing you.

Romans 2:15

who show the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and between themselves their thoughts accusing or else excusing them)

If there is anything bringing condemnation to you, pls deal with it before you go to bed.

Take out this one fox.

EVANGELISM, updated!

 Evangelism, updated!

By Daniel Yohanna

After I got saved & Spirit-filled in 1985 while on Campus, we went on evangelism from hostel to hostel, and later, on the streets of the city of Minna (often from house to house). 

The dynamics of urbanization have restricted access to people on the streets, making house-to-house evangelism less effective in that people are not often that welcoming to strangers, and many houses are fenced. 

But the Commission to witness to all people is still very much in force. (Matt.28:19; Mk.16:15,16; Lk.24:48; Jn.20:21; Act.1:8)

"We have only one business on earth - to save souls." - John Wesley.

We simply need to adopt new strategies. 

1) School or Office: You meet people in School or at work. People spend more time at work than at home. The work-place may be your best bet to meet people. 

Be a shining example of the life of Christ through your conduct, your spirit of excellence and then your words. 

"Preach the Gospel at all times and in all places, and if necessary, use words." - St Francis of Assisi.

“I reckon him a Christian indeed that is neither ashamed of the Gospel or a shame to it." - Matthew Henry.

2) Social Media: You can reach more people in one hour online than you may one-on-one in one year, through the Internet. Are you maximizing this veritable platform for the Gospel, or are you ashamed of the Gospel?

Do you post, like, forward and share everything except the Gospel? Stand up and be a witness. 

3) Ceremonies: People will troop in for naming ceremonies, house warming, freedom or graduation parties, birthdays, weddings and funeral services. Can you take advantage of this to share the Gospel to the audience? Can you deliberately take that special occasion to church so your friends can accompany you to the house of God?

“Any church that is not seriously involved in helping fulfil the Great Commission has forfeited its biblical right to exist." - Oswald J. Smith

4) Travels: I've had the opportunity to share the Gospel with passengers sitting by me in the bus, taxi, plane, et al. You must just make up your mind to be a blessing to anyone that you come in contact with. 

5) What other avenue can you think of? 

My final word is that you must just reach someone today. 

God bless you as you begin, right away. 

Rewards of Soul-winning

NOW, as much as God created us to worship Him, nothing gives Him more joy than soul-winning. There's no account of any other endeavour that throws heaven into celebration like soul-winning (Luke 15:7,10). 

Winning souls shows you are wise (Prov.11:30). Is it any wonder there are not too many wise believers today?

Soul-winning will cause you to shine as a star (Dan.12:3). Do you want to excel and be a star? Start winning souls. 

“There is no greater honour than to be the instrument in God's hands of leading one person out of the Kingdom of satan into the glorious light of heaven." - D.L. Moody 

There's a crown awaiting you on that Day (1Thess.2:19)

Soul-winning is a great key to provision (Matt.17:27)

"Any saint who does not love and seek sinners is without excuse. He is untrue to his Saviour, ungrateful for his own salvation, and disobedient to the Great Commission." - John Rice

PRAYING EFFECTIVELY by Daniel Yohanna

PRAYING EFFECTIVELY

God always answers prayers - always. Matt. 7:8 assures us of that. 1John 5:14,15 gives us grounds for praying confidently. 

You ask and receive not because you ask amiss (Jam 4:2). 

So, how do you ask properly?

Understand first of all that prayer is a DIALOGUE with God. It is a conversation with your Father. It is joining forces with heaven. 

If it is a dialogue, it means your Father is also talking, as much as you are talking (praying). 

The most important part of your prayer life is what God is saying about the situation. 

Lots of time, we just rattle words and leave without waiting to hear God’s instruction on the subject matter. You often need to hear God tell you what you need to do. 

Many times, prayers go unanswered not because God did not hear us but because we did not hear Him telling us what we need to do. 

What you did the last time may not be what you need to do next time to obtain victory (Case-in-Point, 2Sam. 5:17-21,22-25)

Isaac prayed for his wife, because she was barren. She took in. When she began to have issues with the pregnancy, she asked God, “Why is this happening to me?” (Gen. 25:21-23). God responded with a message. 

Paul went to God concerning the “thorn in his flesh.” God responded, “My grace is sufficient for you...” (2Cor. 12:8-9). 

Instead of just barging on God, “Do it Lord, Answer me Lord, Do it,” you need to engage Him in a conversation, especially for things you have prayed for over and over again and for a while. 

While the children of Israel were crying before the Red Sea, God responded by saying, 

“Quit praying and get the people moving! Forward, march!” (Exo.14:15, TLB)

He then instructed Moses to stretch forth the Rod over the waters and the waters were parted. Supposed they just kept on praying for God to make a way where there seems to be no way?

Jesus assured us that whatever we ask the Father in His name, He will do it (John 14:13-14; 16:23-24)

Yet, remember that God exalts His Word above His name (Psa.138:2). He does all things according to the Counsel of His Will (Eph.1:11). 

Start by finding what He has said in His Word about the situation. 

That’s exactly what Jacob did in Gen. 32:9-12;

“Then Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, the LORD who said to me, ‘Return to your country and to your family, and I will deal well with you’:”

Deliver me...

For You said, ‘I will surely treat you well...”

What has God said in His Word? Start from there. 

The written Word is referred to as LOGOS in the Greek. 

Stand upon the LOGOS as you wait for a RHEMA (a specific word or scripture given you at the moment). 

God said to “Call to Him and He will answer you and SHOW YOU great and mighty things which you do not know (Jer.33:3). 

“Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.” (Jer. 33:3, MSG)

When Israel cried for thirst, they found water at Marah but the waters were bitter. When Moses cries to the Lord, God showed him a tree, which was cart into the waters to make them sweet (Exo.15:22-25)

In the midst of the storm, Paul had a RHEMA from the angel (Acts 27:22-25) and it turned the entire situation around. 

The Word of God says “None shall be barren among us,” (Deut.7:14), so if you are experiencing a delay in childbirth, take that Word to God in prayer and meditation until you receive a specific Word on what you need to do, or stop doing. 

The Word says “None shall want her mate” (Isa.34:16) and “He sets the solitary in families,” (Psa.68:6) and you are trusting God for a life partner. Stand on those words until you receive a specific word. 

Why is this necessary? Since what is written in the Word is not manifesting in your life, you must find the missing link. 

His Will must be done in your life as it is in heaven. 

There must be an alignment of your life until it is in conformity with His Will. 

When you receive a RHEMA from God, you can go to sleep, your case is settled. You can take that Word to the bank. It shall be done. It shall come to pass. 

It is a new day for you in Jesus name. 

MARRIAGE WITHOUT TEARS X: What men expect of their wives By Daniel Yohanna

What men desire of their wives By Daniel Yohanna

It's too simplistic to assume all men are looking for is about good food or good sex:
Good restaurants can give good food, and any call girl can offer good sex.
If you think you can lure a man through sex, you're deceiving yourself. He'll see you as a sex toy. Men always get tired of their toys and seek the latest or upgraded version.
So, if you depend on your beauty to captivate the man, what if he meets a more beautiful woman (since women's beauty, kind of, lasts for a year: no Miss Nigeria has won for two years running).

Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:33
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

1. The primary duty of a woman is to submit.
Submission is bringing your mission under. It means yielding to another in love. You are not running your own agenda, but aligning your vision to the overall vision of the house.
Show respect to your husband, whether you are richer, more educated or older. He is still the head of the union.
Never undermine your husband's authority. Never challenge his authority, especially in the open.
Avoid nagging. Stop being assertive, always insisting things must go the way you suggest. A suggestion is not an instruction.

Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33 AMPC)

IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]. Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes; But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God. For it was thus that the pious women of old who hoped in God were [accustomed] to beautify themselves and were submissive to their husbands [adapting themselves to them as themselves secondary and dependent upon them]. It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you]. (1 Peter 3:1-6 AMPC)

2. Men desire an understanding wife. Many men feel their wives don't understand them. They don't think along the same lines. They're not on the same page on many issues. And that's the source of conflict.
When he shares his vision, don't shoot it down. Study it first. See how you can make his dream come true instead of expressing pessimism every time he attempts to do something. Very soon, you'll be seeing surprises of finished projects, or you'll be hearing his plans from third parties.
Even if you disagree, do it strategically.
"A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger." (Prov 15:1)

By long forbearance and calmness of spirit a judge or ruler is persuaded, and soft speech breaks down the most bonelike resistance. (Proverbs 25:15 AMPC)

"Be patient and you will finally win, for a soft tongue can break hard bones." Prov.25:15 (TLB)

Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:22-24 MSG)

Many women feel their husbands are stubborn, don't listen to their advice but listens to outsiders' advice.
Lots of time it's because you fail to understand him before trying to advise him.
Because women are more intuitive than logical, they do not know how to reason things out logically. A lot of things don't seem to make sense to them.
If you don't understand a man's vision, how then do you support him in fulfilling it?
Why do some men prefer hanging out with friends and colleagues in clubs, joints and other hangouts rather than return home?
The women don't understand how to make them relaxed.
He loves football, you hate it, so he'll go to a viewing centre to watch it, and pray he doesn't end up seeing some other things he didn't plan on watching before.
Every time he says, "Let's take a walk," you respond, "How can we be moving aimlessly as if we have no work? Please, I have plenty of work to do."
"Escort me to see my friend," you respond "Ah, you know, me I'm an indoor person." Ok. You'll remain indoors while things are happening outdoors with your man.

3. To build, and not tear down
EVERY WISE woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands. (Proverbs 14:1 AMPC)
To incubate
Think about the taxi driver's wife who saved money from the house-keep money given by the husband. The day his taxi was grounded and he needed to buy a new engine and didn't have enough money, He was shocked when his wife brought out money. She said she anticipated the day there would be an emergency, so she saved from what was not enough.
Dr Myles Munroe called women domestic managers (not full-time house wives).
A man I know got a brand new car. He gave it to his wife. He said his wife prevented him from being extravagant. She helped him to be prudent and moderate. He had wanted to buy a car because he saw that of a friend, and she said, "There was no need. You are not in competition with other men."  As opposed to the wife that would always harass her husband: "Can't you see your mates? Are they not men like you?" Imagine that the billionaire kidnapper Evan's wife claimed not to know the kind of business her husband was into, yet was enjoying the proceeds of crime, eating and 'cleaning mouth.'

4. Women who can care
So that they will wisely train the young women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined) and to love their husbands and their children, To be self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, good-natured (kindhearted), adapting and subordinating themselves to their husbands, that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach (blasphemed or discredited). (Titus 2:4, 5 AMPC)

Pastor Bakare often said, "My wife gave birth to 5 children but she nurtured 6." (He being the sixth child).

5. Wives should provide comfort for them. They must must make the home a comfortable place to eagerly return to.
Delilah posed as the model wife a woman should be to her husband. Get him to trust you with reckless abandon. Samson so trusted Delilah he slept off on her laps. He told her all his heart, without keeping back anything. He didn't know she was an enemy - going to use the information she had against him. Do you use the things you know about your husband as a weapon during a quarrel or conflict?
If you can't let your wife know ALL your assets, investments, income and dealings, something is fundamentally wrong with that marriage of yours.

Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death. (Genesis 24:67 NKJV)

Let your fountain [of human life] be blessed [with the rewards of fidelity], and rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant doe [tender, gentle, attractive]–let her bosom satisfy you at all times, and always be transported with delight in her love. Why should you, my son, be infatuated with a loose woman, embrace the bosom of an outsider, and go astray? (Proverbs 5:18-20 AMPC)

As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love. (Proverbs 5:19 NKJV)

Woman, keep your shape and looks the best you can, giving room for "wear and tear."

Avoid staying all day with wrapper over your chest.
Look good at all times.
Wife, don't be wearing swimming trunk as an underwear, with jeans trousers, to sleep. Make it easy for your man, let him not sweat trying to find something...pls, easy access, right? Keep it simple...dressing in seductive ways in the bedroom. (It's ok for you to make the first move...and make sure you move very well). I can see someone buying a new set of nighties. Yea, something is about to happen. Yes, let it happen.

Marriage without Tears ix: WHAT WOMEN EXPECT OF THEIR HUSBANDS

What women expect of men
By Daniel Yohanna

Ephesians 5:25-33
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

1. The primary duty of a man is to love his wife unconditionally. The greatest need of a woman is not money (she can make her own money). It is love.
She wants love and affection. She wants undivided attention. She wants a listening ear. She doesn't want you listening to her and watching Arsenal play at the same time or phubbing with your phone : undivided attention.
When you love a woman, submission becomes automatic - Col. 3:18,19. Christ loved us first.
When you love a woman, you will enjoy her comfort - Gen. 24:67
When you love your wife, you're actually doing yourself a favour => "Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage." (Ephesians 5:25-28,MSG)
2. Another need of a woman is security. You need to let her feel secure. You need to protect her. Protect her from family members, friends and people in general. He needs to leave father and mother so as to cleave to his wife. He must project his wife above family members. That's Bible. If you hate your wife you hate yourself. If you wound your wife you wound yourself.
Song of Songs 8:6-7 reads:
"Set me as a seal upon thine heart,
as a seal upon thine arm:
for love is strong as death;
jealousy is cruel as the grave:
the coals thereof are coals of fire,
which hath a most vehement flame.
Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can the floods drown it:
if a man would give all the substance of his house for love,
it would utterly be contemned."
3. As the head of the family, you need to provide leadership. They eyes are in the head. You need to provide visionary leadership.  Where is this family heading to? What plans do you have for the family? If anything happens, what are we going to do?
Abraham failed in this aspect. He allowed his wife Sarah make the critical decisions, which is why we're still having problems today with the sons of Ismael, because Abraham wouldn't provide leadership, to reject wrong counsel and stick to what God told him.
4. A man needs to provide for his family, or else God sees him as worse than an infidel (1Tim. 5:8)
5. A man needs to intercede and pray for his family, like Isaac did in Gen. 25:21. Isaac didn't send Rebecca out to go look for the solution to her problem. He prayed for her.
6. A man needs to fight for his family, not like the man who heard robbers knocking on the door and he ran under the bed and told the wife to go and ask them what they want. When they entered the house, she told them he was under the bed and she called him out, querying, "Are you not always reminding me you are the man of the house? Come out and face men like you!"
The woman is always at the man's left hand so his right hand can be free to fight.
Read Nehemiah 4:14 - fight for your households.
Use your strength for her and not against her.
7. Men need to protect their family from intruders. Where was Adam when the Serpent was having a field day persuading Eve to eat the fruit? We have a lot of "absentee Dads" today, and the usual excuse is, when confronted, "Is it not because of you people that I'm running up and down?"
8. Men need to improve their spouses and add value to them. Ephesians 5 says to purify her with the washing of water with the word, so as to remove all spots and wrinkles - through the words they speak to them. Not men who are intimidated by the progress and success of their wives and wound rather put them down.
Every woman is beautiful. Invest in her and see the beauty come out.
9. Women want men who will understand them - and handle them with care, as the weaker vessels. They are delicate; don't treat them roughly: handle with care. That's why men are called, "Gentlemen!" Because they deal with women gently.
Understand the moods of the woman, that she goes through monthly hormonal changes that affects her moods. Sometimes, you just need to give her a break: let her be.
"Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." (1 Peter 3:7)
10. Women expect men to treat their wives with honour knowing that they are "suitable help" (Gen.2:18) for him. She's your helper. God  brought her to you to help you. You need the help of your spouse. [While men can be analytical and rational, women are intuitive. We just know things without knowing how]. Don't ignore her advice. She's more than a baby factory or a sex toy. She doesn't just belong to the kitchen, the living room or the other room. She has a purpose.
11. Men ought to bless their households regularly. To bless is to eulogize - to speak well of. Speak well of your wife and children. Don't run them down before your family and friends. David blessed his household as seen in 2Sam. 6:20a.