What men desire of their wives By Daniel Yohanna
It's too simplistic to assume all men are looking for is about good food or good sex:
Good restaurants can give good food, and any call girl can offer good sex.
If you think you can lure a man through sex, you're deceiving yourself. He'll see you as a sex toy. Men always get tired of their toys and seek the latest or upgraded version.
So, if you depend on your beauty to captivate the man, what if he meets a more beautiful woman (since women's beauty, kind of, lasts for a year: no Miss Nigeria has won for two years running).
Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:33
Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
1. The primary duty of a woman is to
submit.
Submission is bringing your mission under. It means yielding to another in love. You are not running your own agenda, but aligning your vision to the overall vision of the house.
Show respect to your husband, whether you are richer, more educated or older. He is still the head of the union.
Never undermine your husband's authority. Never challenge his authority, especially in the open.
Avoid nagging. Stop being assertive, always insisting things must go the way you suggest. A suggestion is not an instruction.
Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33 AMPC)
IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]. Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes; But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God. For it was thus that the pious women of old who hoped in God were [accustomed] to beautify themselves and were submissive to their husbands [adapting themselves to them as themselves secondary and dependent upon them]. It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you]. (1 Peter 3:1-6 AMPC)
2. Men desire an understanding wife. Many men feel their wives don't understand them. They don't think along the same lines. They're not on the same page on many issues. And that's the source of conflict.
When he shares his vision, don't shoot it down. Study it first. See how you can make his dream come true instead of expressing pessimism every time he attempts to do something. Very soon, you'll be seeing surprises of finished projects, or you'll be hearing his plans from third parties.
Even if you disagree, do it strategically.
"A soft answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger." (Prov 15:1)
By long forbearance and calmness of spirit a judge or ruler is persuaded, and soft speech breaks down the most bonelike resistance. (Proverbs 25:15 AMPC)
"Be patient and you will finally win, for a soft tongue can break hard bones." Prov.25:15 (TLB)
Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands. (Ephesians 5:22-24 MSG)
Many women feel their husbands are stubborn, don't listen to their advice but listens to outsiders' advice.
Lots of time it's because you fail to understand him before trying to advise him.
Because women are more intuitive than logical, they do not know how to reason things out logically. A lot of things don't seem to make sense to them.
If you don't understand a man's vision, how then do you support him in fulfilling it?
Why do some men prefer hanging out with friends and colleagues in clubs, joints and other hangouts rather than return home?
The women don't understand how to make them relaxed.
He loves football, you hate it, so he'll go to a viewing centre to watch it, and pray he doesn't end up seeing some other things he didn't plan on watching before.
Every time he says, "Let's take a walk," you respond, "How can we be moving aimlessly as if we have no work? Please, I have plenty of work to do."
"Escort me to see my friend," you respond "Ah, you know, me I'm an indoor person." Ok. You'll remain indoors while things are happening outdoors with your man.
3. To build, and not tear down
EVERY WISE woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own hands. (Proverbs 14:1 AMPC)
To incubate
Think about the taxi driver's wife who saved money from the house-keep money given by the husband. The day his taxi was grounded and he needed to buy a new engine and didn't have enough money, He was shocked when his wife brought out money. She said she anticipated the day there would be an emergency, so she saved from what was not enough.
Dr Myles Munroe called women domestic managers (not full-time house wives).
A man I know got a brand new car. He gave it to his wife. He said his wife prevented him from being extravagant. She helped him to be prudent and moderate. He had wanted to buy a car because he saw that of a friend, and she said, "There was no need. You are not in competition with other men." As opposed to the wife that would always harass her husband: "Can't you see your mates? Are they not men like you?" Imagine that the billionaire kidnapper Evan's wife claimed not to know the kind of business her husband was into, yet was enjoying the proceeds of crime, eating and 'cleaning mouth.'
4. Women who can care
So that they will wisely train the young women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined) and to love their husbands and their children, To be self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, good-natured (kindhearted), adapting and subordinating themselves to their husbands, that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach (blasphemed or discredited). (Titus 2:4, 5 AMPC)
Pastor Bakare often said, "My wife gave birth to 5 children but she nurtured 6." (He being the sixth child).
5. Wives should provide comfort for them. They must must make the home a comfortable place to eagerly return to.
Delilah posed as the model wife a woman should be to her husband. Get him to trust you with reckless abandon. Samson so trusted Delilah he slept off on her laps. He told her all his heart, without keeping back anything. He didn't know she was an enemy - going to use the information she had against him. Do you use the things you know about your husband as a weapon during a quarrel or conflict?
If you can't let your wife know ALL your assets, investments, income and dealings, something is fundamentally wrong with that marriage of yours.
Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death. (Genesis 24:67 NKJV)
Let your fountain [of human life] be blessed [with the rewards of fidelity], and rejoice in the wife of your youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant doe [tender, gentle, attractive]–let her bosom satisfy you at all times, and always be transported with delight in her love. Why should you, my son, be infatuated with a loose woman, embrace the bosom of an outsider, and go astray? (Proverbs 5:18-20 AMPC)
As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love. (Proverbs 5:19 NKJV)
Woman, keep your shape and looks the best you can, giving room for "wear and tear."
Avoid staying all day with wrapper over your chest.
Look good at all times.
Wife, don't be wearing swimming trunk as an underwear, with jeans trousers, to sleep. Make it easy for your man, let him not sweat trying to find something...pls, easy access, right? Keep it simple...dressing in seductive ways in the bedroom. (It's ok for you to make the first move...and make sure you move very well). I can see someone buying a new set of nighties. Yea, something is about to happen. Yes, let it happen.
