WHO DO I MARRY? By Mary Yohanna

WHO DO I MARRY? By Mary Yohanna

There is a stage in life where you do not lack admirers. The lady does not lack suitors coming and the guy knows that there are ladies around him that “like” him. Some call this stage, “The prime age.” To most young people, knowing whom to date becomes very confusing. Dating as we know precedes courtship and courtship precedes marriage. “Who do I date?” can be a difficult question to answer at the stage. Below are certain points to ponder before accepting any guy or girl:

1)      Is s/he a Christian? The scripture is so clear about this point right from the Old Testament to the New Testament. Abraham insisted that Isaac must not marry Canaan where he lived but that the wife must be from his own family (Gen. 24:1-4). In Deut. 7:3, God told the children of Israel not to intermarry with the inhabitants of the land.

2Cor. 6:14 tells us clearly that we as believers should not marry unbelievers. Don’t be so naïve to believe you can convert him/her. Remember, you are not the Holy Spirit.

Remember also, that being a Christian is more than just going to church or bearing a Christian name. We are referring to someone who has committed his or her life to Jesus and is born again.

2)      Does s/he have a Pastor? It is not enough that the person is born again, s/he must belong to a local church and must have a Pastor. Apart from the spiritual covering this provides, it also puts one in a position to be instructed, corrected or rebuked when necessary. There must be somebody that can bring you to order when you seem to be deviating from the right path. Psalm 92:13 says those that are planted in the house of God shall flourish – their lives, marriage, home, flourish – in the courts of our God. Having a pastor shows some level of commitment to God and to His house.

3)      Does s/he have a vision? Marriage involves two people coming together to fulfil God’s purpose. There is therefore the need to know what the person’s vision in life is, so that you can run together.

Amos 3:3 – Two cannot walk together unless they agree.

Prov. 29:18 – Where there is no vision, the people perish.

Like a friend said, “Don’t marry a man because he has a television. Marry a man because he has a vision. He will eventually not only buy you a television, he will put you on television.”

Never follow a man or a woman who is going nowhere.

4)      Does s/he have a job? Never marry a lazy man or woman unless you want to be unhappy in the future when all you will have are bills piled up. Everyone abhors laziness, whether it is physical, mental or spiritual laziness. Read Prov. 12:24; 21:25; 24:30-34.

In Gen. 2:15, God gave Adam a job before he gave him a wife. Make sure that the person you are considering is doing something, either having a job or is into some form of a business, or is even in School.

5)      Are you physically attracted to him/her? In Gen. 2:23-25, when Adam saw Eve, he exclaimed, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh!” He was attracted to her. He admired her. The person you are considering may not be the most beautiful person in the world but s/he must be beautiful to you. S/he must be someone you admire.

P.S. By Daniel Yohanna

After considering all this, something else that troubles many a believer is the question of God’s will. Is s/he God’s will for me?

First of all, determine what is not the will of God. We have seen already that you cannot marry an unbeliever. Then also, a so-called believer who is not living right and not living according to the Word of God is also a no-go area. See 1Cor.5:10,11.

God will not likely impose on you someone you have neither attraction nor appreciation for. If it is someone you never thought about nor considered, something will bring you people together, and along the way, the flame of love will be ignited within you both.

God said in 1Cor. 7:39 that a widow is at liberty to marry WHOM SHE WILLS (but) ONLY in the Lord. God did not superimpose His will here but says within the allowable Christian boundaries, marry whom you will or wish to.

When you make your choice, check your heart. Are you at peace with your choice or decision? That peace in your heart (especially after you have taken enough time to pray and your mind is quiet) is the umpire for judging whether you are in the will of God or not. Settle that question within your heart and stop running from one prophet to another trying to compel them to pick your mate for you. They will not live in the house with you. It has to ultimately be your decision, and you will live with your choice.

Col. 3:15 (AMP): And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds…