MARRIAGE WITHOUT TEARS VI (Avoiding Needless Heart Breaks!) by Daniel Yohanna

A heart break (or broken heart) is a common metaphor for the intense emotional pain or suffering and sometimes physical pain one feels after losing a loved one either through death, divorce, breakup, separation, betrayal or romantic rejection.
For the sake of this article, I'm limiting heart breaks to relationships.
Heart breaks occur as a result of the grave disappointment people experience. Yet, the same situation that causes a heart break in one person may leave another person the same. This is because people are disappointed not by what they meet but by what they expected to meet (which is not met).
I met a lady who was being managed by her sister for years after she was jilted by a lover. She was living in the UK but had to be brought back home because of a mental condition.
Another one worked in an international merchant bank, and when her relationship broke up, she left her work unceremoniously, went back to the village and at one point, contemplated suicide. Amazingly, she later got married to a very successful young and both have a very wonderful family.
One man somehow just can't think of marrying because his fiancée left him.
These traumatic experiences occur not necessarily because of the action but because of our expectations. We assume it could never happen, and so when it happens, we are completely devastated.
There's a difference between trusting somebody and trusting in the person.
Trust is a foundation pillar in building a lasting relationship. When trust is broken, the relationship suffers a setback, yet it can be salvaged.
However, trusting in (putting your trust on) someone is building your entire life on that person.
You can't demand infallibility because you are not infallible yourself. You can't demand perfection knowing that you aren't perfect.
That's one reason you ought to be willing to forgive and let go of offences because you also have been wrong and could be wrong  too and would need forgiveness.
A man once told me he couldn't forgive his wife for flirting with her ex-lover (at a period they were separated and the man had said she wasn't coming back) yet he was more guilty of the same offence. His justification was that it is African for men to flirt but not tolerated for women to do same. Thank God he eventually forgave and they reconciled.
Lots of time, in the words of Edwin Louis Cole, "We judge ourselves by our intentions while judging others by their actions."
We must learn to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Thus says the Lord : “Cursed is the man who trusts in man And makes flesh his strength, Whose heart departs from the Lord. For he shall be like a shrub in the desert, And shall not see when good comes, But shall inhabit the parched places in the wilderness, In a salt land which is not inhabited. (Jer. 17:5, 6 NKJV)

Since you are dealing with imperfect human beings and not angels, give room for mistakes, and you won't have to suffer unnecessary heart breaks.