Monday, 1 September 2014
A COVENANT PEOPLE by Daniel Yohanna
God cut a covenant with Abraham and his seed (Gen. 17:1-12). And we know that a covenant is an agreement that is legally binding.
Jesus came as the seed of Abraham - and we all, through Jesus are the children of Abraham (Gal. 3:7, 16,29).
Yet, a new covenant was enacted in Christ, which is like a codicil to the Old (Abrahamic) covenant, which happens to be a better covenant, established upon better promises (Heb. 8:6).
The modifications in this new covenant absolved us of the rites or liturgies of the old covenant like the sabbath rites, the animal sacrifices and other burnt offerings (Jesus being the ultimate sacrifice) , burning of incense, ablutions yet grants us all of the benefits of the Abrahamic covenant (Col. 2:13,14). It also frees us from the curse(s) under that covenant that served as punishment for breaking the law.
Galatians 3:7,14,16,29
"Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree:
That the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ; that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.
Now to Abraham and his seed were the promises made. He saith not, And to seeds, as of many; but as of one, And to thy seed, which is Christ.
And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise."
Some of the benefits they enjoyed under that covenant included supernatural provision, divine health, divine protection, distinction from the world, victory over their enemies, etc.
"He brought them forth also with silver and gold: and there was not one feeble person among their tribes." (Psa.105:37)
When there were plagues that ravaged Egypt, Israel was exempt.
And in His covenant relationship with His people, He promised to free them from the evil diseases of Egypt
"And said, “If you diligently heed the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in His sight, give ear to His commandments and keep all His statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you which I have brought on the Egyptians. For I am the Lord who heals you.” (Exo. 15:26)
"You shall be blessed above all peoples; there shall not be a male or female barren among you or among your livestock. And the Lord will take away from you all sickness, and will afflict you with none of the terrible diseases of Egypt which you have known, but will lay them on all those who hate you." (Deut. 7:14,15).
No matter the intensity of darkness in the world, God will shine over you with a light over which darkness cannot comprehend [Gen. 1:3; Isa. 60:1-3; John 1:5].
There will be a clear difference between God's children and the people of the world (Mal. 3:17,18).
When men are going down, you will go higher and higher (Job 22:29).
In every encounter, you will come out tops (Deut. 28:13). You are destined to soar on eagle's wings as a high flyer (Isa. 60:8).
Sickness is not your portion but the portion of your enemies. Poverty is not your lot. What stops others will not stop you. You will not be counted among the dead. You don't need to fear what others fear. Your case is different. You serve a living God.
If you are a born again child of God, you are in Covenant with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Walk in this covenant blessing. There's no stopping you. I'll see you at the top.
OBTAINING & MAINTAINING YOUR HEALING by Daniel Yohanna
OBTAINING AND MAINTAINING YOUR HEALING
Healing is one of the benefits of our redemption in Christ. When Jesus hanged on the Cross, He took our infirmities and bore our sicknesses (Mt. 8:16,17) and by His stripes (wounds) we have been healed. So, through His substitutionary sacrifice, He obtained healing for us. It is now left to us to receive that which He has made available for us.
Methods of Healing:
1) Asking in the name of Jesus
“And in that day you will ask Me nothing. Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you. Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full." (Jn.16:23,24)
2) Making a demand in the name of Jesus
And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it. (Jn.14:13,14)
To ask here is to demand. Take advantage of the right to use the name of Jesus and stand upon that authority to demand sickness to leave.
“Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven." (Mt.18:18)
3. Prayer of Agreement. Two or more believers can pray together in agreement. They must make sure they're agreeing on the same thing.
“Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven." (Mt.18:19)
4) Laying on of hands.
A believer lays hands on the sick, thereby transmitting God's healing power, just as Jesus did in Lk. 4:40. God's power is hidden in His hand (Hab. 3:3,4). The believer's hand is an extension of God's hand, for we are "members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones," and "As He is, so are we in this world." (Eph. 5:30; 1Jn. 4:17).
"And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues... they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.” (Mk.16:17,18)
5. Anointing with Oil
"Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven." (Jam. 5:14,15)
The oil is one of the symbols of the Holy Spirit and is a medium (like the hand) through which the anointing - the yoke-destroying burden-removing power of God (Isa.10:27) - is released.
According to T. J. McCrossan in His book, Bodily Healing and the Atonement, "When we today anoint a sick saint with oil by touching the surface of the skin, as Aaron's sons were anointed in Exo.40:15, we recognize the blessed fact that this person has been regenerated and belongs to the church, the household of Christ, our great High Priest, and therefore has a perfect right to claim all the benefits of Christ's redeeming love."
6. Holy Communion (1Cor. 11:23-32; John 6:53-58)
Christ's body was broken for you (on the Cross) so that yours would not be broken by sickness, weakness or infirmity but rather be made whole, as symbolized by the breaking of bread. Jesus once referred to healing as children's bread (Mt.15:21-26).
The cup of communion is the New Covenant in His blood. It shows our union with Him in His life, for the life is in the blood.
In partaking of the Lord's body and blood in Communion, we do enforce in our lives the victory He obtained for us on the Cross of Calvary.
We've seen people come and get healed during our Communion services which holds first Sunday/Wednesday of the month.
7) Anointed (Healing/Prayer) Cloth
"Now God worked unusual miracles by the hands of Paul, so that even handkerchiefs or aprons were brought from his body to the sick, and the diseases left them and the evil spirits went out of them." (Ac.19:11,12)
There are times we're not able to physically reach the sick, and a piece of cloth serves as a "storage battery," super-charged with God's power and taken to the sick, and they are healed. The cloth serves as a conductor of God's power, a medium, just like the oil, to convey healing power.
"Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years,
When she heard about Jesus, she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment.
Immediately the fountain of her blood was dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of the affliction." (Mk. 5:25,27,29)
8. Gifts of Healing(s) / The Healing Anointing
There are some ministers, like myself, who are anointed with God's healing power - a tangible healing anointing - just like Jesus was anointed (Ac.10:38). When those gifts are in operation, people get healed (with or without prayer). This is a supernatural manifestation of healing power through one individual to another.
Now, every believer can get people healed by laying on of hands, though prayer or by ministering the Word as God confirms His Word with signs following. (Mk.16:17-20). But here, I'm referring to the Ministry (or gifts) of healing (1Cor.12:9,28).
9. Believing and Speaking the Word
"For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says" (Mk.11:23).
Just by continually speaking to yourself the Word as it concerns healing, you'll experience God's healing power. Get acquainted with Healing Scriptures and continually speak and act them out.
10. Healing in Redemption
This is by far the best method. This is for the believer who knows that healing belongs to him. You take your place as a son. You know that healing is in God's redemptive plan and that by His stripes, you are healed (Isa. 53:4,5; Mt. 8:16,17; 1Pet.2:24).
You refuse to allow sickness in your body because you are healed. You know that the pain, sickness or disease was laid on Jesus. Since He bore it, you don't need to bear it anymore. You simply know it, so you thank God. There's no need for prayer. No need to be anointed or to have hands laid on you. You just thank the Father for perfect deliverance.
MAINTAINING YOUR HEALING
One sad fact is that healing can be lost. Peter started walking on water, but when he began to doubt, he began to sink (Mt.14:25-31). Why did Peter begin to sink? He was looking at the situation around him instead of looking unto Jesus. That's how people lose their healing - through doubt.
When we take our eyes off His Word and begin to focus on the symptoms, we will "sink" more and more into that sickness.
In Num. 21:5-9, the children of Israel murmured against God and He sent deadly serpents to bite them. When they cried unto God, He instructed Moses to make a bronze serpent (the symbol used as the logo of the Medical Profession). When anyone was bitten, he was healed as he looked at the bronze serpent (a type of Jesus hanging on the Cross for our redemption) and not on the bite. It was impossible for them to look at both the snake bite and the bronze serpent simultaneously.
Take your eyes off your symptoms. Fix your gaze on the Cross where Himself took your infirmities. Don't be ruled by the senses whereby your improvement is the basis of your faith and not God's Word. Don't let your feeling dictate your faith. Healing has nothing to do with feeling. If God's Word says you are healed, then you are healed - whether you feel like it or not.
Smith Wigglesworth said, "I am not moved by what I see. I am not moved by what I feel. I'm only moved by what I believe."
Thomas said unless I see I won't believe (Jn. 20:24-29). But Jonah tells us that they that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy (Jon. 2:8).
Keep your faith strong by feeding constantly on the Word of God, speaking it at all times, and never focusing on your symptoms. In the words of Oral Roberts, "Never doubt God. If you must doubt, doubt your doubts, for they are unreliable."
WALKING IN HEALTH
Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. (3Jn2)
It is God's desire that you not only get healed but that you stay healthy. The same Word that got you healed will keep you healed. Speak the Word (Mt.8:8) at all times, not only when you're down with sickness.
According to "Dad" P. C. Nelson, you must "keep you faith strong at all times. The time will come when you'll need healing for yourself or for some member of your family, and if you have not kept your faith string, you'll be at a disadvantage." He also added, "Constantly feed along the lines of faith and healing, constantly with whatever else you read."
HEALTHY LIFESTYLE
In order to stay healthy, you must develop a healthy lifestyle. Eat healthy. There's no point destroying your health as a result of a wrong diet, only to get healed and go back to the wrong diet. When Jesus healed a paralytic, he warned him to "sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you." (Jn. 5:14)
Personal hygiene and sanitation must be taken seriously. Live in hygienic environments. You'll discover that some of the laws given Israel in the Old Testament were dietary and sanitary laws. One reason people are sick is because they break natural laws regarding health.
Exercise your body regularly, even if it's just a walk you take often. Even the Bible says bodily exercise has profit (1Tim. 4:8)
Learn to rest. Don't overwork yourself. There's an amount of stress your body can stand. If you don't learn to rest you'll be laid to rest.
I pray you'll stay healthy and live wealthy, in Jesus name.
Healing is one of the benefits of our redemption in Christ. When Jesus hanged on the Cross, He took our infirmities and bore our sicknesses (Mt. 8:16,17) and by His stripes (wounds) we have been healed. So, through His substitutionary sacrifice, He obtained healing for us. It is now left to us to receive that which He has made available for us.
Methods of Healing:
1) Asking in the name of Jesus
“And in that day you will ask Me nothing. Most assuredly, I say to you, whatever you ask the Father in My name He will give you. Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full." (Jn.16:23,24)
2) Making a demand in the name of Jesus
And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it. (Jn.14:13,14)
To ask here is to demand. Take advantage of the right to use the name of Jesus and stand upon that authority to demand sickness to leave.
“Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven." (Mt.18:18)
3. Prayer of Agreement. Two or more believers can pray together in agreement. They must make sure they're agreeing on the same thing.
“Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven." (Mt.18:19)
4) Laying on of hands.
A believer lays hands on the sick, thereby transmitting God's healing power, just as Jesus did in Lk. 4:40. God's power is hidden in His hand (Hab. 3:3,4). The believer's hand is an extension of God's hand, for we are "members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones," and "As He is, so are we in this world." (Eph. 5:30; 1Jn. 4:17).
"And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues... they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.” (Mk.16:17,18)
5. Anointing with Oil
"Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven." (Jam. 5:14,15)
The oil is one of the symbols of the Holy Spirit and is a medium (like the hand) through which the anointing - the yoke-destroying burden-removing power of God (Isa.10:27) - is released.
According to T. J. McCrossan in His book, Bodily Healing and the Atonement, "When we today anoint a sick saint with oil by touching the surface of the skin, as Aaron's sons were anointed in Exo.40:15, we recognize the blessed fact that this person has been regenerated and belongs to the church, the household of Christ, our great High Priest, and therefore has a perfect right to claim all the benefits of Christ's redeeming love."
6. Holy Communion (1Cor. 11:23-32; John 6:53-58)
Christ's body was broken for you (on the Cross) so that yours would not be broken by sickness, weakness or infirmity but rather be made whole, as symbolized by the breaking of bread. Jesus once referred to healing as children's bread (Mt.15:21-26).
The cup of communion is the New Covenant in His blood. It shows our union with Him in His life, for the life is in the blood.
In partaking of the Lord's body and blood in Communion, we do enforce in our lives the victory He obtained for us on the Cross of Calvary.
We've seen people come and get healed during our Communion services which holds first Sunday/Wednesday of the month.
7) Anointed (Healing/Prayer) Cloth
"Now God worked unusual miracles by the hands of Paul, so that even handkerchiefs or aprons were brought from his body to the sick, and the diseases left them and the evil spirits went out of them." (Ac.19:11,12)
There are times we're not able to physically reach the sick, and a piece of cloth serves as a "storage battery," super-charged with God's power and taken to the sick, and they are healed. The cloth serves as a conductor of God's power, a medium, just like the oil, to convey healing power.
"Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years,
When she heard about Jesus, she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment.
Immediately the fountain of her blood was dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of the affliction." (Mk. 5:25,27,29)
8. Gifts of Healing(s) / The Healing Anointing
There are some ministers, like myself, who are anointed with God's healing power - a tangible healing anointing - just like Jesus was anointed (Ac.10:38). When those gifts are in operation, people get healed (with or without prayer). This is a supernatural manifestation of healing power through one individual to another.
Now, every believer can get people healed by laying on of hands, though prayer or by ministering the Word as God confirms His Word with signs following. (Mk.16:17-20). But here, I'm referring to the Ministry (or gifts) of healing (1Cor.12:9,28).
9. Believing and Speaking the Word
"For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says" (Mk.11:23).
Just by continually speaking to yourself the Word as it concerns healing, you'll experience God's healing power. Get acquainted with Healing Scriptures and continually speak and act them out.
10. Healing in Redemption
This is by far the best method. This is for the believer who knows that healing belongs to him. You take your place as a son. You know that healing is in God's redemptive plan and that by His stripes, you are healed (Isa. 53:4,5; Mt. 8:16,17; 1Pet.2:24).
You refuse to allow sickness in your body because you are healed. You know that the pain, sickness or disease was laid on Jesus. Since He bore it, you don't need to bear it anymore. You simply know it, so you thank God. There's no need for prayer. No need to be anointed or to have hands laid on you. You just thank the Father for perfect deliverance.
MAINTAINING YOUR HEALING
One sad fact is that healing can be lost. Peter started walking on water, but when he began to doubt, he began to sink (Mt.14:25-31). Why did Peter begin to sink? He was looking at the situation around him instead of looking unto Jesus. That's how people lose their healing - through doubt.
When we take our eyes off His Word and begin to focus on the symptoms, we will "sink" more and more into that sickness.
In Num. 21:5-9, the children of Israel murmured against God and He sent deadly serpents to bite them. When they cried unto God, He instructed Moses to make a bronze serpent (the symbol used as the logo of the Medical Profession). When anyone was bitten, he was healed as he looked at the bronze serpent (a type of Jesus hanging on the Cross for our redemption) and not on the bite. It was impossible for them to look at both the snake bite and the bronze serpent simultaneously.
Take your eyes off your symptoms. Fix your gaze on the Cross where Himself took your infirmities. Don't be ruled by the senses whereby your improvement is the basis of your faith and not God's Word. Don't let your feeling dictate your faith. Healing has nothing to do with feeling. If God's Word says you are healed, then you are healed - whether you feel like it or not.
Smith Wigglesworth said, "I am not moved by what I see. I am not moved by what I feel. I'm only moved by what I believe."
Thomas said unless I see I won't believe (Jn. 20:24-29). But Jonah tells us that they that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy (Jon. 2:8).
Keep your faith strong by feeding constantly on the Word of God, speaking it at all times, and never focusing on your symptoms. In the words of Oral Roberts, "Never doubt God. If you must doubt, doubt your doubts, for they are unreliable."
WALKING IN HEALTH
Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. (3Jn2)
It is God's desire that you not only get healed but that you stay healthy. The same Word that got you healed will keep you healed. Speak the Word (Mt.8:8) at all times, not only when you're down with sickness.
According to "Dad" P. C. Nelson, you must "keep you faith strong at all times. The time will come when you'll need healing for yourself or for some member of your family, and if you have not kept your faith string, you'll be at a disadvantage." He also added, "Constantly feed along the lines of faith and healing, constantly with whatever else you read."
HEALTHY LIFESTYLE
In order to stay healthy, you must develop a healthy lifestyle. Eat healthy. There's no point destroying your health as a result of a wrong diet, only to get healed and go back to the wrong diet. When Jesus healed a paralytic, he warned him to "sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you." (Jn. 5:14)
Personal hygiene and sanitation must be taken seriously. Live in hygienic environments. You'll discover that some of the laws given Israel in the Old Testament were dietary and sanitary laws. One reason people are sick is because they break natural laws regarding health.
Exercise your body regularly, even if it's just a walk you take often. Even the Bible says bodily exercise has profit (1Tim. 4:8)
Learn to rest. Don't overwork yourself. There's an amount of stress your body can stand. If you don't learn to rest you'll be laid to rest.
I pray you'll stay healthy and live wealthy, in Jesus name.
MARRIAGE without TEARS V: Pillars of Marriage by Daniel Yohanna
PILLARS OF MARRIAGE
The foundation of any building, project or life is a pointer to its destiny. How high you intend to raise a building determines the depth of foundation you need to lay.
Jesus taught about storms hitting a building. Whether the building survived the storm or not is determined by the presence or absence of a solid foundation.
Whether your marriage will face a storm is already a given. It's a non-negotiable fact. Storms will come.
The same storm that causes havoc in other birds is used by the eagle to strengthen its muscles and soar higher above the storm.
The same thing happens in marriage. While one marriage grows stronger through the storms of life, some other crumbles.
What are the pillars we need to lay a solid foundation for our marriages?
1) LOVE
Everybody uses this word until it has lost its meaning that we don't know what it means anymore. Somebody tries to woo another to indulge in sexual immorality in the name of love.
Love is not a feeling - which wanes and fades with time. It is a decision, a choice we make to show affection to another.
The marriage that is built on love will survive any storm because it is not built on feelings which vary from mood to mood. Love acts unconditionally. It's not predicated on the action or attitude of the recipient (Rom. 5:8). It is love borne out of our affection for God - divine love.
According to E. W. Kenyon, divine love has never been to a divorce court.
2) COMMITMENT
Commitment means
to bind or obligate, as by pledge or assurance; pledge: to commit oneself to a promise; to be committed to a course of action.
"Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed... (I Cor. 7:27a).
It is commitment that let's u say, "I do," and decades after, through thick and thin, come rain, come shine, you're still "doing." You've made a life-long commitment "till death do us part." And it doesn't mean you'll put your spouse to death so you can part.
3) TRUST
If a husband and wife want their marriage to be happy and successful, they must be able to trust each other implicitly. Nothing damages a marriage more than broken trust. It's hard to grow and prosper in an atmosphere of bitterness, resentment, and suspicion.
That's why both partners should take great care to ensure that they do not say or do anything to give each other any reason to doubt or distrust them. Trust enables a husband and wife to enjoy a relationship characterized by openness and transparency, with no secrets or "locked rooms" that are kept off limits to each other.
Then you won't have to be snooping around each other's cell phones and eavesdropping on their conversations with others.
4) MUTUAL RESPECT
A strong marriage is built upon mutual respect. To respect someone means to esteem that person, to consider him or her worthy of high regard. Where there is no respect, abuse is inevitable. When you lose appreciation for your spouse, he/she will be of no value to you, and you'll most likely violate and abuse your spouse, and treat them like they don't count for nothing. Some people value and respect the opinion or advice of their friends and family more than their spouse's. Nothing, and no one, other than God, should be of greater value to you than your spouse.
And then, when there is mutual respect, it's easy to have mutual submission to each other (Eph. 5:21)
5) SACRIFICE
Selflessness is a major pillar in strengthening the bond of marriage, while selfishness is the bane of any union, where each party is solely focused on "I, me & myself." If you'll make pleasing your spouse a priority, your relationship will last.
Think of ways of giving your spouse surprise packages. Make life easier for your spouse. Let your partner be glad that you're there, and not rather that your presence or absence makes little or no difference.
Self-centredness is at the bottom of many a conflict in homes.
It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly.
"Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. (1Cor.13:5, AMP)
6) COMMUNICATION
Communication comes from a Greek word, communis, meaning, common ground. You must have more grounds to agree on that ones you disagree on, or else your marriage is on the way to extinction.
Communication is the life of any relationship. We must never give room for malice. No wonder the Bible says we can be angry but must not keep our wrath beyond sunset so as not to give room to the enemy (Eph. 4:26,27).
Learnt to talk things through. And please, realize that confrontation is not communication, neither is complaining. And according to Peter Drucker, "The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said."
Because of the heavy work schedules, you find people who spend all their time on the office and hardly have time for their spouse, so it becomes rife to have illicit relationships brewing in the office.
7) CANDOUR
Nothing can be built upon the foundation of lies or falsehood. In this day and age where people wear false teeth, false eye lashes, false finger nails, and what have you! Some wear falsehood into their marriage. Imagine waking up one day to find that you were married to a lie. He told you he had a degree only to discover he never went to school. She told you she was a virgin only to discover she had a child out of wedlock. What then can you believe from such a person? There must be no room for dishonesty in a marriage.
We must learn to speak the truth in love (Zech. 8:16; Eph. 4:15)
Adam and Eve were naked and not ashamed. There was such a high degree of transparency between them that nothing was covered. It is said that it's better you "slap" your spouse with the truth than "kiss" them with lies.
Don't muzzle or mute your spouse's mouth. Their honest counsel can save you from disaster.
8) Etc.
The foundation of any building, project or life is a pointer to its destiny. How high you intend to raise a building determines the depth of foundation you need to lay.
Jesus taught about storms hitting a building. Whether the building survived the storm or not is determined by the presence or absence of a solid foundation.
Whether your marriage will face a storm is already a given. It's a non-negotiable fact. Storms will come.
The same storm that causes havoc in other birds is used by the eagle to strengthen its muscles and soar higher above the storm.
The same thing happens in marriage. While one marriage grows stronger through the storms of life, some other crumbles.
What are the pillars we need to lay a solid foundation for our marriages?
1) LOVE
Everybody uses this word until it has lost its meaning that we don't know what it means anymore. Somebody tries to woo another to indulge in sexual immorality in the name of love.
Love is not a feeling - which wanes and fades with time. It is a decision, a choice we make to show affection to another.
The marriage that is built on love will survive any storm because it is not built on feelings which vary from mood to mood. Love acts unconditionally. It's not predicated on the action or attitude of the recipient (Rom. 5:8). It is love borne out of our affection for God - divine love.
According to E. W. Kenyon, divine love has never been to a divorce court.
2) COMMITMENT
Commitment means
to bind or obligate, as by pledge or assurance; pledge: to commit oneself to a promise; to be committed to a course of action.
"Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed... (I Cor. 7:27a).
It is commitment that let's u say, "I do," and decades after, through thick and thin, come rain, come shine, you're still "doing." You've made a life-long commitment "till death do us part." And it doesn't mean you'll put your spouse to death so you can part.
3) TRUST
If a husband and wife want their marriage to be happy and successful, they must be able to trust each other implicitly. Nothing damages a marriage more than broken trust. It's hard to grow and prosper in an atmosphere of bitterness, resentment, and suspicion.
That's why both partners should take great care to ensure that they do not say or do anything to give each other any reason to doubt or distrust them. Trust enables a husband and wife to enjoy a relationship characterized by openness and transparency, with no secrets or "locked rooms" that are kept off limits to each other.
Then you won't have to be snooping around each other's cell phones and eavesdropping on their conversations with others.
4) MUTUAL RESPECT
A strong marriage is built upon mutual respect. To respect someone means to esteem that person, to consider him or her worthy of high regard. Where there is no respect, abuse is inevitable. When you lose appreciation for your spouse, he/she will be of no value to you, and you'll most likely violate and abuse your spouse, and treat them like they don't count for nothing. Some people value and respect the opinion or advice of their friends and family more than their spouse's. Nothing, and no one, other than God, should be of greater value to you than your spouse.
And then, when there is mutual respect, it's easy to have mutual submission to each other (Eph. 5:21)
5) SACRIFICE
Selflessness is a major pillar in strengthening the bond of marriage, while selfishness is the bane of any union, where each party is solely focused on "I, me & myself." If you'll make pleasing your spouse a priority, your relationship will last.
Think of ways of giving your spouse surprise packages. Make life easier for your spouse. Let your partner be glad that you're there, and not rather that your presence or absence makes little or no difference.
Self-centredness is at the bottom of many a conflict in homes.
It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly.
"Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. (1Cor.13:5, AMP)
6) COMMUNICATION
Communication comes from a Greek word, communis, meaning, common ground. You must have more grounds to agree on that ones you disagree on, or else your marriage is on the way to extinction.
Communication is the life of any relationship. We must never give room for malice. No wonder the Bible says we can be angry but must not keep our wrath beyond sunset so as not to give room to the enemy (Eph. 4:26,27).
Learnt to talk things through. And please, realize that confrontation is not communication, neither is complaining. And according to Peter Drucker, "The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said."
Because of the heavy work schedules, you find people who spend all their time on the office and hardly have time for their spouse, so it becomes rife to have illicit relationships brewing in the office.
7) CANDOUR
Nothing can be built upon the foundation of lies or falsehood. In this day and age where people wear false teeth, false eye lashes, false finger nails, and what have you! Some wear falsehood into their marriage. Imagine waking up one day to find that you were married to a lie. He told you he had a degree only to discover he never went to school. She told you she was a virgin only to discover she had a child out of wedlock. What then can you believe from such a person? There must be no room for dishonesty in a marriage.
We must learn to speak the truth in love (Zech. 8:16; Eph. 4:15)
Adam and Eve were naked and not ashamed. There was such a high degree of transparency between them that nothing was covered. It is said that it's better you "slap" your spouse with the truth than "kiss" them with lies.
Don't muzzle or mute your spouse's mouth. Their honest counsel can save you from disaster.
8) Etc.